I have always struggled with criticism. I get defensive and usually I get depressed. I was determined to do a better job this time at seeing it as an opportunity to learn something about myself and my husband. As hard as I tried I still had it in my mind what I was going to hear so it took me all day to finally ask the question.
I chose a time when my husband couldn't escape. We were in the car doing an errand. His first reaction was dread. "Why do you need to ask that question now!" My response was calm and non-threatening. "I'm just curious". He decided I wasn't going to come unglued so he proceeded. 1) Time management, waiting until the last minute to get things done or going places late is frustrating to him. 2) Communication, let him know when I'm struggling with something instead of waiting until I'm ready to explode. 3) Be healthier to help him lose weight. I can handle all of those.
I was so ready to hear that I didn't look my best or I was too critical but I was surprised at what truly mattered to him. These are things I can do and knowing it makes a difference to my husband makes it easier to do.
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